Interview given for the biggest daily newspaper “Dnevnik” on the occassion of my book release today European time. The book is called “Living Room”
Who are you?
Oh, that’s quite difficult question. I’m the one that I’m in the moment, we going through constant change all the time, the identity is not a fixed category. Today I’m this, tomorrow that, after tomorrow something else. I cannot say who am I, but I can say what‘s important to me in this journey called “life” – that’s freedom, integrity, honesty and writing either fiction, poetry or academic…
What’s freedom according to you?
First and foremost, non-conformity. Then, honesty with itself and the “other” even sometimes to the point of confrontation. Resistance against the predictability and certainty and everything that tightens your chest since the “freedom” lays in there… to be honest the freedom has paradoxical nature as well, in the same time it can be oppression, but this is the part that has to be felt and lived through, in order the chains to be broken once and for all. Nonetheless, for this one needs courage of course.
The novel is quite multilayered, there some hidden meanings and signification, is this result of your roaming thoughts, and to which extent this characterizes the writing process? How do you write, are your thoughts wandering around, and what do you do when you lose yourself in the writing?
The multilayered character of the novel is a result of deep reflection and understanding, the writing process is quite burdensome as writers we actually live through the things we write, and this is not easy at all since the identification level is enormous. If your character is dying, you’re dying as well; if your character suffers you suffer as well and etc…and opposite. The writing process requires solitude or even sometimes loneliness, but also needs support…Luckily in this “adventure” I had complete support of many people, friends, people who believed in me no matter what, and I’m extremely grateful for that. We all need some kind of confirmation, regardless of the way and manner this is done…During the writing often you get lost in the thoughts labyrinth, and this is not easy at all, but leads to new perspectives in the writing , which is extremely important for the creative process and the inspiration as such. Personally, I am not able to write without an inspiration…where I find it? In myself, in the people around, in the different life situations, in life in the images, sounds, smells..and etc.
Do you analyze people? What’s first thing you notice in people – appearances, gestures, sexuality?
Yes, but more I’d say I observe people…I like to observe the human nature, regardless of how dark and heavy it might be, I also learn to observe the more lighter one, to recall it in my existence as well…I’m fascinated by the human body, and uncovering different parts and proportions of the body that are being used in painting, but also its interaction with emotions and mind. I come from family where art and painting was important, my grandfather is one of the figures that established modern art in Macedonia, and this is the reason why I deal with this field in my book…I like to observe…
Among other things in your book you deal with the concept of “memory” or the memory practices and their importance in our lives. Please tell me – do you have memories?
Hahahaaa…I have or maybe I don’t have. Something that happened yesterday is going to be something else tomorrow… “memory” is a complex concept represents “past, presence and future in the same time”….”the memory is a God and demon concomitantly” .
In “Living Room” you say that “human nature is wicked or pervert”…How much in this description there is possibility for love?
Hahhaha there isn’t! No, in a manner that society normative tells us so…because we are completely imperfect with various flaws, and love in this situation remains only ideal of perfection…in that sense is good not to fool ourselves, at least I say for myself not to deceive myself…I don’t have expectation neither towards myself nor from others…This doesn’t mean incapacity to feel, in opposite means full uncovering of the vulnerability, and thus acceptance of the imperfection and the beauty that arises out of this imperfection…
What’s love for you?
Uh the eternal debate…I wonder if it’s not only a allusion, an image in the mirror…however, it’s important to me that human feeling of dialog with oneself through the “other”…of course inspiration, but action as well since love is “politics”…
How much love takes away the freedom? Is love slowly getting freer shape, which hurts us because we cannot recognize it?
Love cannot take away the freedom. There’s no difference between love and freedom. Love is a synonym for freedom, and vice versa…However, frequently I wonder whether love exists in the way that is served in society nowadays…I try to question and problematize this kind of understanding…On the other hand, personally consider that we humans are not meant to be in monogamous relationships, and we should admit that to ourselves and to others…I don’t know I might be wrong I don’t say…but the false moral, predictability and conformism are murders of the spirit.
From where the urge to set the plot in this small space “Living Room” oppositely from the ocean’s horizon? О
The “Living Room” is a synonym for intimacy, undressing, dialog with itself…the place where we are the most vulnerable but in same time secure, where we meet with the others but also where we hide, place where we dream, remember or we try to forget…The ocean is another story, brings forward different metaphors for me…that are also quite deep and powerful but in other way…
The novel reminds on a movie script. Which director you would like to direct the movie if there is a chance?
Thank you for asking me the question probably would sound immodest but is my hidden wish. In the process of writing I envisaged it like that, would be extremely happy if the next phase I can see it at theater stage or on a movie screen. Which director? Undoubtedly Lars von Trier since is a king of the emotion. If Stanley Kubrick and Tarkovsky were alive probably them as well…